Turning Down the Volume
I don't know about you, but when I start something, I jump in, with both feet (ok sometimes my whole body...cannonball!) I have big ideas, big thoughts, big dreams. big big big. I have always been this way. My imagination can take me up up and away which can sometimes feel like a whimsical journey, while other times I panic, look down and see I'm too high up, get scared, and come crashing down. A part of this jumping in involves consuming a lot of information and others’ thoughts on my big ideas.
I had a moment recently while on a hike as I was listening to my 100th podcast of the week giving me more information, more "help", more tools, more strategy, more more more! I don't know if I fully grasp how much information I was taking in...because it was so constant.
I realized that not only was the volume of my podcast too loud (gotta protect those eardrums) but that I had too many volumes in my life turned up to 11 (spinal tap anyone?). My work email is currently flooded with emails giving me ALL the tips and tools and secrets I NEED in order to be a successful business owner, a better therapist, a financial expert, SEO expert, to name a few. My nightstand is stacked high with books on finances, theories, entrepreneurship, liberation work, etc. Like I stated before, I am in the midst of a massive cannonball!!!
As people, we are consuming information constantly through our phones, at the gas station (why do they have those little TVs in the pump), in our cars, homes, work, doctors' offices, and in my case, even at beautiful parks! It's a lot y’all!
I took a deep breath and realized that with all these volumes turned up in my life, it was really hard to hear myself and connect inward. It was hard to hear what I wanted, what I was learning, what I was feeling and needing. I was so disconnected from those questions, I was looking everywhere and to anyone to tell me the answer.
I turned off my podcast, put my headphones away, and kept walking. My body shifted as I took in the wind, the trees, the birds. My brain was still full but there was space to sink more into my body and be present with myself. I was able to slowly make space for all the feelings I have been carrying. Fear, anxiety, hopefulness, dread, freakin excitement, exhaustion. I was reminded at this moment that endless gifts are waiting when we choose to turn down the volume(s) and choose curiosity within. There is no guarantee when we shift our attention inward that there will always be something to learn or glean. There is mystery there. There's no objective, no bullet points, or nice wrap-up. But I have experienced that when I choose myself; when I choose to be present, something is waiting for me. And I believe there is something beautiful waiting for you too. I hope you discover something worthwhile.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
What are the volume knobs you’ve got in your life? What are you consuming or allowing in that is making it hard to hear and connect to self?
What does it feel like when you have several external volumes turned all the way up?
What need is it filling for you?
How well are you able to hear yourself during these times?
What does connection to self look like?
TRY THIS
Take a walk in your neighborhood or a park with just yourself. No music, podcasts, audiobooks. Instead, notice how it feels to just be present with you and the natural world. What do you notice? Where does your mind wander? What do you hear? Does this feel challenging, exhilarating, boring, overwhelming, exciting?? And that’s it. Just notice what happens for you.
Remember, this work of being a human is just a big experiment, so bring your curiosity. Who knows what will happen.
